Foundation is Everything

Hey lovelies,

Proper foundations and under garments are a must to pull your look together. The best way to ruin a look is not wearing the right foundation under your clothes. One of my new staples is shape wear under my dresses. I have a F.U.P.A. (fat upper private area) and I love how shape wear hides my imperfections  and makes my dresses look much better on me.

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Above I am wearing a brief body shaper that focuses smoothing the mid section. This shaper covers the entire mid-section and stops at the hip. This is great for short and mini dresses.

Below I am wearing a full coverage body shaper that smooths the body and enhances your shape. This shaper goes above the waist and past the thighs.

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Even in the summer months shape wear is needed. Most of the fabrics we wear in the summer is light so the extra layer from the shape wear will go unnoticed.  You can find shape wear that is light weight that does not make you feel uncomfortable. The trick is making sure the fit is right.

The key to wearing shape wear is understanding it will not make you look slimmer or smaller. Body shapers are to smooth the body in order for your clothes to have a better fit.

Love Yourself Above All Else

Feela!

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Summer’18 Is Going to Take This Body!

Hey Lovelies,

So your girl has gained some weight. I don’t know how much exactly but I can see it in my face and midsection.  Some of my clothes are a little snug as well. This was not how I planned for Summer ’18 to be. I almost started to beat myself about picking up a few pounds because I worked so hard to get my weight down and to see myself go back was disappointing.

The funny thing is while I was noticing the weight gain and beating myself up, I am still doing me when it came to dressing. I love some short shorts, or a cute dress in the summer. While I have to make some adjustments to some of my clothes and get rid of a few pieces because of my weight gain I am still enjoying showing skin. Even with not being happy about gaining weight, I never lost my confidence. Summer ’18 gone take the body I got right now.

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Your body size does not and should not take away from your confidence. Nor, should your size take away from feeling sexy. Although I am not happy about my weight gain, I love the woman I am. I  could easily go into a funk about my weight gain and believe me I have my moments but what does it change? Now don’t get me wrong, I am getting back in the gym to shed the pounds. However, in the process I am going to continue to love me and the few unwanted pounds that decided to come by..lol.

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Love yourself above all else

Feela!

Let’s Talk About Hair: Going Back to the Basics

Hey Lovelies!

This past week I had to buy shampoo. Before I knew it I went into a product sink-hole. I started doing research, reading reviews, watching YouTube videos all for some shampoo! I could have just got the shampoo I had been using but I didn’t want to spend over $20 for shampoo and conditioner. The whole process got me to thinking. It’s time to make some changes.

There was a time when my hair flourished,maintained moisture, and grew consistently and all I did was the basics with affordable products. There was no focus on brands, reviews, or fake promises. The only thing I cared about was the product did what it was supposed to do on my hair. I wanted my shampoo to clean my hair. My conditioner needed to moisturize and soften my hair. The styling products I used needed to make my hair look good. The products I used didn’t cost an arm and leg but they worked.

Truth be told a lot of these new products don’t work but we use it because the labels sound good. Or some influencer who was paid said it works. I am no longer falling for the fads and trends of hair care today that will have you trying new products every other week.

Not only am I going back to using affordable products that works for my hair, I’m also going back to the basics with my hair care. Right now my hair routine is pretty simple however even with its simplicity I still feel like I spend a lot of money on products that’s not necessary for styling my hair.

Basically I’m over following these trends that causes you to add more products and spend more money. I’m getting back to the basics.

If you want a list of products I’m using or what I’m doing let me know leave a comment.

Feela!

Pride Parade Chicago!

Hey Lovlies!

If you’ve been following my blog you know I am more about sexual freedom,  sexual empowerment, and removing the shame from sex and sexuality, so it was only right that I attended my first Pride Parade! All I have to say is I had a super awesome fantastic time. I love being in positivity, good energy, and great people and the Pride Parade had it all.

Here are some great moments I captured from this amazing day.

The balloon presentations was breath-taking

The participants gave off so much energy

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There was so many powerful messages

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And the Gyrlz!!!

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I had a freakin ball!

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If you’ve never experienced a pride parade I recommend it. I will be back next year!!!

Feela!

Talk To Your Daughters About Sex

Last week on Jade Picket-Smith’s Red Table Talk with her daughter and mom, they discussed sex and it really struck me on so many levels. I loved how the women were able to come together to talk openly and freely about sex and their sexual experiences. What stood out to me was Jada’s mom expressing how she struggled when it came to talking about sex because  of the conversations she had with her mom. Yet, on the flip side Jada was able to be more open when it comes to sex because her grandmother had a different conversation about sex with her. The conversation overall made me think about the sex talks I had with my mother, and how important it is to talk to your daughters about sex.

One point the Jada made about talking about sex with your daughters or children is often times the parents make sex this nasty and dirty thing.  This was basically how the conversations went with me and my mom. The basis of our sex talks was don’t come home pregnant while in high school.  We didn’t talk about sexuality, self pleasure, or how sex should be enjoyable for me as well as my partner. I had to learn these things on my own and mainly as an adult. Even to this day trying to talk about sex around my mother is struggle.img_1199

Talk to your daughters about sex! Be as open and free as you can comfortably be. Don’t just limit the conversation to the basis of the”birds and bees”, but be open and upfront with your daughter. Talk to her about self pleasure and explain how women also have organisms. Explain to her that sex should be just as enjoyable for her as it is for her mate. Teach her how to not to be ashamed of her body or sexual side.  Share some of your sexual experiences good and bad to teach her that it’s ok to talk about sex freely. Doing these things will not only teach your daughter about sex, but it will empower her about sex and allow her to discover who she is when it comes to sex.

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There are so many women who struggle with sex because they did not have right the foundation.  As the mother it is up to us to set the foundation to ensure our daughters are fully prepared sexually. Yes, it is important to talk to your daughters about protection, birth control, and consent. At the same time, we need to be open with our daughters about sex so they can feel free to make the best decisions for herself sexually. Remember, that is what sexual empowerment is all about, having the power to make the best choices sexually.  Who knows, having real conversations with your daughters about sex may also improve you relationships.

 

Peace, Love, And Freedom

Feela!

Explaining Sexual Empowerment and Freedom

 

Hey Lovelies,
When I started the Let’s Talk About Sex series, I had a few people basically come to me and say, “Oh No Baby What is You Doing?”..lol. They looked at it as something wrong and bad and did not understand what sexual empowerment and sexual freedom meant. They felt as thought I was just pushing sex and could not see that I am trying to education and teach women, specifically women of color how to own their sexuality. I decided I needed to take a step back and to help people understand what sexual empowerment and sexual freedom means and what it means to me.
“Committing to a sexually empowered lifestyle means deciding you matter, your desires matter, your boundaries matter and your sexual health matters. Man or woman, sexually active or not, sexual empowerment is an essential component of creating a community with zero tolerance for sexual violence. “
Sexual empowerment, in m opinion, is basically  respecting yourself and others when it comes to sex and sexuality. It’s about taking the shame off sexuality and sex from all aspects and being tolerable of other people sexual choices. Becoming sexually empowered is about learning who you are and allowing others to be who they are.
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 I am passionate about sexual empowerment among women of color because I feel like we give and gave or power away. To the point that we are ashamed to be who we are when it comes to be sexuality and we have become accustomed to shaming our sisters for their choices.
Sexual freedom is the emancipation of sexual expression from arbitrary shackles prescribed by tradition – and sometimes even by law.  Expression often shunned and ruled against includes celibacy, non-marriage, open discussion of human sexuality in public forums, and community living.
Sexual Freedom to me is kind of self-explanatory. It’s about having the freedom to be who you are even if it goes against social norms; as long as you are not causing harm to others. It’s also about allowing others to live and love how they choose without judgment.
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 Now that  I have explained what sexual freedom and sexual empowerment is, understand it’s more than just having sex it’s about a mindset. My goal and purpose with talking about sex on my blog is to motivate and inspire women of color to beconfident about their sexuality and who they are.  How people choose to express their sexual freedom and power is it up to them. It’s all about being confident about your choices and who you are. Love yourself, love others, do you, and be free.

Peace, love, and freedom!
Feela

I Don’t Like My Natural Hair

Hey lovelies,

Yes you read the title the correctly. I know there are some who read it and thought how can you not like what comes out of your head. Truth be told, I never really understood this thought process either, until I went natural again. In less than two months I quickly became tired of my tightly curled hair. I decided to go back to my relaxer without a second thought.

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I did not like the shrinkage and how thick my hair is. I never liked that my hair was so thick, not even as a little girl. The fact that I had so much shrinkage was too much for me. Granted I love my short hair but I was not in love with how my hair was looking with the thick little afro sitting on my head. My hair was so thick and tightly curled that you really could not tell that I had some popping curls going on, especially after my hair dried.

So, yes I am back to the relaxer and my pixie. I just could not do the natural hair or twa. I did not like how my hair looked. I like my hair stretched without some of the thickness.

Yup I said it…

I don’t like my natural hair.

Feela!